Hey! You've somehow low-browsed your way into Firezine: The Digital Magazine of The Firesign Theatre.
As editors and 13th floor flushing Firesign fanatics, we've been delevated to the task of herding this wild caterpillar into a corral that's OK enough to cut the mustard for fans such as yourself to catch up on the condiments sauced up in Firesign World. Hot Dog!
If you've gotten this far, you may need some help navigating the gates and baits and switches designed by our self-serving web geeks dished out on silver platters.
We've got the latest Firesign Theatre news that's fit to view, and then some, in our Currant News: Hearded Through the Grapevine pages. Click on the news button (on the left side of this page) and you can punch up funny photos and read ridiculous reports about Firesign's seriously silly studio shenanigans riotously recording and mirthfully mixing the nebulous new as yet un-named Rhino Records CD and first comedy audio DVD. (No that's not a brand spanking new kind of underwear that sticks out above your pants and plays tunes up the m-bone but a major marketing gimmick, ah . . . modern musical miracle that surrounds you with sounds from 5.1 speakers in your system, which you haven't bought yet. Get it? You will. (Who's going to make those point 1 speakers? Crushed dwarfs?) [I guess we'll have to refer to Firesign as the 4 or 5.1 Krazy Guys from now on.] Anyway, Currant News is just like being there, with plugs in you ears. Of course if you snuck in, you'd be thrown out on your ass and beaten to a bloody pulp by the plunger wielding USPlus Security Goon Squad. We don't want to have to go through that again and neither would you.
You should also belly up your giggling girth over to the sidebar and wet your whistler with our mother load of magazine merriment culled from the archive of artless articles arranged in our actually physically published pages. We've been doing it since 1996, when some of you were just starting to wear diapers; depends on how old you are. Our Alzheimedia brigade of celebrity stalkers is out there dogging the dirt, doing it in the road, foaming off over the phone, e-mailing the hell out of everybody, bothering the brothers, sassing the sisters, spamming the spastics, flapping their lips and flipping their lids while mashing the mish-mosh, (or is that moshing the mish-mash? Whatever!) filtering the filler, finding the fatty facts and stretching the truth. Just click on the archives button. You'll have 7 issues to choose from. Read 'em and weep.
You'll notice that some of the article links, the better ones actually, will take you to a do nothing congressional cul-de-sac. Hee, hee, heeeeee. That's just our clever marketing scheme to get you to buy into the real world magazine, something to hold in your hand other than your mouse. For info just click on the Buy Firezine button.
If that's not enough to glut your gullet go to Links, then hit the found links buttons and go off on your own to the other Firesign Fan websites. Play ring around the baloney on the Firesign Webring and come back here, if you know what's good for you. And we do!
So there you have it. Take it or leave it, we're not going away and we're changing and adding new stuff continually, so come back often. It's free, for a price!