FIREZINE: The Official Official Magazine of The Firesign Theatre

[Online Edition]

[click on the images above to view online]

Welcome to the digital digital version of
FIREZINE: The Official Official Magazine of The Firesign Theatre!
(you know who they are or else you wouldn't be here)

This electronic magazine is posted for those of you who are too cheap to buy the hardcopy issues but are interested in having a good time at our expense. Therefore, you will find here articles that were published in FIREZINE: The Official Official Magazine of The Firesign Theatre® (you know who they are or else we wouldn't be here telling you that you do) and some items that weren't published in FIREZINE: The Official Official Magazine of The Firesign Theatre© (you know who you are or else you wouldn't be here reading that you do) such as photos, sounds, links and other marvelous stuff that only the wonderful world of computers can bring you and us (collectively "we") toward that much talked about but seldom crossed "Bridge To The 21st Century" (you'll know you're there when your computer melts down and covers your hands with little gooey 1s and 0s that you won't be able to wash off, sort of a modern Lady McBeth type of deal, I suppose).

And you will not find stuff printed in FIREZINE: The Official Official Magazine of The Firesign Theatre™ (you'll know what they are when you actually subscribe), some of the really good stuff too (actually written by members of The Firesign Theatre themselves [they know what they wrote as they actually wrote it] {they better have or else we'll (uncollectively "us") have to change the name of the magazine from FIREZINE: The Official Official Magazine of The Firesign Theatre®© to something else like FIREGHOSTZINE: The Official Official Ghostly Written Magazine of Someone Pretending To Be The Firesign Theatre®™ (they'll know who they are because they signed the check) which is a title too long to fit across the top of any vertical format publication, * unless it takes up the whole cover* \ of course they could use very little, teensy weensy, microscopic print but then nobody would be able to read it and it would fall through the cracks of the magazine racks/ })@#%^&~?

Where were we? Oh yeah. As we cross our Is and dot our Ts and float down the mysterious cyberhighway of the Internet to the wonderful land Enroute, you (and us, collectively "we") have arrived here at the Oasis of Oafishness, the Hide-Away of Humor, the Library of Laughter, the Chasm of Chuckles, the Fjord of Fun, the Isle of Idiocy, the Continent of Comedy, the Planet of Puns, the Solar System of Silliness, the Universe of...., well you get the idea, if we (uncollectively "us") don't.

However you got here, you're here (you know who you are and how you got here which is one of the fundamental questions of Laugh, Liberty and the pursuit of... Well you know what you're looking for and if not, maybe you'll find out and let us know [we know who we are, we think, therefore we am or we are] {who am us anyway?}).

Anyway... Welcome to the digital digital version of FIREZINE: The Official Official Magazine of The Firesign Theatre©™ (We know who they are or else we wouldn't be wasting our time and yours [unless you want to waste some time, and this is just the place for it]) setting you up (you're no fun if you fall right over) for the big sting to buy some of our marvelous Firesign Theatre products (you'll know what they are when you stumble across them [with a big push from us, no doubt]) that go to support this website and the actual published version of FIREZINE: The Official Official Magazine of the Firesign Theatre®©™ (they know who they are and so will you by the time you wade through this knee deep Sewer of Silliness, Toilet of Tomfoolery, Et Cetera of Et Ceteras...

{DING!!!}

Oops, time for lunch! So hey, get on with it! It's here and you're here and we're here, so...

"LET'S EAT!"

- The Firezine Staff