News from The Firesign Theatre's
Official Mascot!

They refer to me as "Producer" because that is what I do for a living, and because I am Producer and Director of their next full-length western Hollywood movie, "Surreal West".

"Surreal West" stars The Firesign Theatre and a host of my favorite "rich Hollywood stars," including Avery Schreiber and Kenneth Mars. It has a six-million dollar budget, and music by composer John Kull. I am proud of our rich orchestral score. (I hired a rich orchestra.)

I wrote "Surreal West" with John Halvorson, and it is full of music, bizarre visual effects, and insane comedy.

Phil Proctor gets to play romantic scenes (in Russian) with his wife, the beautiful actress Melinda Peterson. David Ossman plays God Almighty (type casting), Phil Austin is the Indian Chief, and Peter Bergman is our time-travelling, shape-shifting villain. I think you'll like it.

"Surreal West" is like "Casino Royale," or "Around the World in 80 Days." or Sam Fuller's "Forty Guns." Well, it's not like any of those, actually. I take that back. It's not like anything.

(But I do like those movies, and for fun I tell people that "Surreal West" is "'Jaws' meets 'Easter Parade.'")

Sam Longoria

FIREZINE contacted the "Official Mascot" to get a little more information concerning "Surreal West."

Sam's response:

Not shooting yet, nor not near, but I'll give you plenty of notice. Finishing up last pre-production stuff in my editing room out in the desert (and building a new mixing room.) Takes a while to plan a battle, y'know.

Now where do you fit in all this?

I'm sticking several friends in "funny if you know what to look for" positions in "Surreal West." I've got it in mind to have Dr. Demento be the square dance caller, with his musical knowledge and his funny radio voice.

My pal Dov Simens (the movie teacher) will be hawking zoopraxiscopes in the western town, from a buckboard.

And I need an newspaper editor to flash an important newspaper headline at a pivotal moment. You're my casting choice, of course. Sound good?

Be patient. As my grandmother told me, bad things happen all at once. Good things take a long time.

But it won't take too long, when we get there.